The Gordian Knot was Created by a Knitter

Updates and Such

2007-12-01T11:34:00.000-05:00

Let's see, updates updates...

I've lost 30 lbs. That's a happy happy thing. 20 more before March is needed, and is definitely possible.

I've finished a bunch of little projects, including a felted purple mottled top hat.

We bought a dishwasher. This may sound boring, but it's utterly delightful in terms of sheer cleaning of the kitchen goodness.

We also got a new firdge, an all-fridge fridge, far more energy efficient and SO much more space than the 20 year old can't-put-anything-on-the-door, two shelved mold-making wonder we had before.

I actually bought a digital camera, so more pictures are also a possibility, including, perhaps, one of me with the new short (!) haircut. My hair went from dark brown, curly, and mid back length to chin length in the front and 2 inches in the back, caramel with gold highlights, and far straighter (due to the dye, I think). It's a bit of a shock, but people have been overwhelmingly positive.

Is it a bit selfish to wish someone had said "I liked your hair before"? (Except my wife, who did, because she likes me, just as me. I'm blessed and I know it.) A few hundred "Wow! You look good!" or "Huh, you're pretty today." are nice ego boosters, but leave me wondering if the rest of the time people were thinking "Geez, why doesn't she just...". Of course, this may be influenced by the fact that the student teacher in my class has decided to teach the fashion unit with What Not to Wear as the end activity. The victim? Yours truly. The kids lit up with glee when they were told, and I got reactions like "Miss! Yes! I'm SO changing your hair/face/those eyebrows have got to go (I LIKE my eyebrows, that isn't happening)/makeup/clothes/Miss, don't worry, you'll look good for a change."

*grins* I love teaching. Honest.

Cheers.

Yeah School Spirit

2007-05-21T18:01:00.000-04:00

So the knitting club is moving along quite duckily. My digital camera was repossessed by the school when I ceased being the yearbook person, so I prevailed upon a friend to take this picture.

As a fundraiser, one of our charity groups sold blank white ceiling tiles for the cafeteria. Teachers and clubs and students could buy a tile, paint it wit something appropriate, and have it hung in the caf for all to see.

Witness the tile of the Knitting Club. The school name is smudged out, but the sentiment comes through - (deleted) High School, Closely Knit.

And we are. Idea by me, knotwork drawn freehand by my wife, painting by me.

Meeeeee (well, cuter and skinnier)

2007-04-26T20:37:00.001-04:00

Visual DNA

2007-04-15T13:44:00.000-04:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Permission

2007-04-06T12:20:00.000-04:00

I've decided to give myself permission to accept that i'm never going to be a standard blogger. I love reading everyone else's blogs, and I admire them for posting tns of pretty pictures and life-news.

However, since I was 7 years old, people have been trying to get me to keep some form of journal, and it's yet to stick. I can write. I don't mind writing. Sometimes I love writing. But in terms of writing consistently, I can't seem to do it.

A recent (good but rather long) conference on literacy gave me time to realize why. I tend to discuss things when I'm emotional, or trying to entertain people. These are two totally different purposes. When I'm emotional, I write to express and release. I vent. When it's all over, I feel better, and vaguely guilty aboout having bothered others with an excess of emotion I no longer feel.

When I'm writing to share humourous things in my life, I find it's more fun to see my audience. Blogging, alas, doesn't let you actually watch the tea being spit across another person's keyboard, nor does it give yoou the ability to share a belly laugh in that one-encouraging-the-other-can't-stop-laughing kind of way.

So I write a little in one vein, drift away, come back, re-read and think "Blech, I wouldn't read this person." Then I write a little in the other vein, come back, re-read, and think "Tee-hee, but if people have read that, then I oughtn't burden them with this."

Either of these two reactions makes me toddle off towards the safer, instant-reaction land of verbality.

But then....

But then I see Stephanie, who makes me laugh AND cry with her - whose talks I attend feeling mildly like a stalker, and who writes nearly daily - and I feel like I ought to somehow live up to her example.

I see Mamacate, on whose blog I am normally a silent lurker, but who is where I hope to be in the coming years. She doesn't blog as often now, but she has reasons. I have excuses.

I see blog after blog, and all these wonderful women (and men, but for some reason I seem to read women more often) who write regularly. I think "I write, I think, why aren't I doing that?" I think "I'm sitting at home staring at walls and screens, and not writing. Why am I not writing?"

Perhaps its the same reason that the laundry is a pile, not a memory, the dishes in the sink, and the butt in the chair rather than wombling about the neighbourhood.

I'm lazy. *grins* And anti-social, cranky, curmudgeonly, slow, slothful, and generally a poor role-model.

Except when I'm not.

Murder Sucks

2006-09-29T23:02:00.000-04:00

Khatera Sadiqi. Bright, smiling, bubbling, beautiful girl.
Most beautiful eyes.
Dazzling smile.
Gave away her lunch to a homeless man because he looked like he needed an apple.
Personality -charming even as she forgot her homework for the four millionth time.
You're in my heart - all our hearts.
Your brother is in jail now. It's not enough, but it has to do.
If we took the revenge we think we crave, we'd be as bad as he.
We'll continue on, and try to smile your smile for you.

Scarf Exchange

2006-08-13T14:57:00.000-04:00

I've just joined the Scarf Exchange and I'm so very excited! This will give me an opportunity to knit for someone else specific for a change. I'm already pouring over patterns, and yarns, and Oh JOY!

In other news, the Giant Desk from My Childhood has been moved out of the office in the basement, and transported to school. "Why?" you may ask. Well, for several reasons. First of all, it's a jeezley huge piece of furniture in a teensy weensy room. Not sensible that, especially since we have 2 laptops, and no longer use the desktop except as backup.

Secondly, I didn't want to get rid of it. I got that desk when I was about 8. It is the size of a single bed, with drawers and a middle drawer, and pull out extra work surfaces, and it help everything in the universe til I was 13. Then we moved and, horror of horrors, couldn't get it up the stairs. My parents sold it, and bought me a tiny desk, one suitable for a young lady. My packrat tendencies with shifted to beneath the bed and in the closet.

Fast forward almost 10 years, and I find my desk up for sale on an intraweb site at work. $80 delivers the hardwood heaven to my apartment, where my darling wife (then my darling fiancee) raises an eyebrow and tolerates it for my sake. She tolerates it through the move to the house here, but puts her foot down with regards to it being in the upstairs livingroom. Down the stairs the three strapping young men take my desk, and, with much groaning and manuevering, they wiggle it into the tiniest of the three bedrooms, where it takes up fully half the space.

So I'm a little attached. Selling it wasn't an option that my wife would entertain (although I think that was because she was scared I'd spend another 10 years looking for its replacement). So she suggested moving it to school. To my classroom.

That's right, dear readers, I have my very own classroom. Four years of lugging everything I own around on my back (because teachers don't _get_ lockers, my dears, they have classrooms, doncha know), and I've received a home base. Happy Happy Knitter me!

Now I'm a-looking for posters and doodads and paper thingies and all the stuff that makes a classroom interesting for the kids. And in the front of it all, firmly marking my territory as mine, and not to be trifled with, will be my huge solid imposing wooden desk.

After all, they can't make me change rooms if the desk is there, right?

So dear wife and I moved the desk up the stairs. Mental note- if it takes 3 strapping lads 20 minutes to move something down some tight stairs, then 2 women should likely not try to move it back up. Or so we discovered, once we'd trapped my wife on the stairs, and me at the bottom.

Sheer stubborn got that desk up the stairs. I have a bruise across my chest where I balanced the entire weight of it for 3 minutes while my wife got her wind back. SHE has a bruised foot where she balanced it accidentally whilst losing said wind in a rather audible gasp. The wall may have acquired a gouge or two in the paint, but I'm not going to pay attention to those yet. After an hour, the desk was up.

The gentleman hired to take it to the school happens to work as a custodian there too. He's decided that it's my room - he's never moving the desk again.

As for myself - I have a room free now, so we're moving the loom and part of the stash and the bookshelves into it, and we shall have a media/knitting room and a library/weaving room.

New knitting, new furniture arrangement, and a classroom to call my own. I'm happy enough I shall go knit a sock.

(Nope, that's not done yet...but it will be. I have Faith!)

In Knitting News

2006-08-08T17:15:00.000-04:00

Well, socks and I are still not best friends. I have about 4 inches completed on My First Real Sock. MFRS is so called because I've done four pairs of Fuzzy Feet from Knitty, but have yet to manage to focus on a pair of real socks long enough to finish.

Instead, I cast on for the Faroese Peaks shawl from Knitpicks. I'm using their yarn in the Leprecaun colourway. It's yummy - soft and doesn't split. The variagation is pooling a little, but not badly. Interestingly enough, it seems to be one of the overlooked patterns. Everyone's enamoured with Adamus, but I'm enjoying the simple garter stitch parts.

I have, however, found that the only way I seem to be able to knit lace is doubled. That is to say, I knit a row, count the stitches and yarn overs to make sure it's correct. Knit the locking row (plain garter stitch that locks the lace together) while counting the stitches again from paranoia. Knit most of the rest of the next row of lace before discovering that I have miscounted. Tink two rows. Reknit and achieve perfection. Move on to the next row. Lather rinse repeat.

Nevertheless, I have finished the first chart of the pattern! Picture will come as soon as I figure out how to post the blasted things again.

As for the job....I'm teaching knitting at Yarn Forward! Yes, yes, I know, after that last paragraph I wouldn't hire me either, but honestly I can teach. There are over 150 teenagers who prove that. My DW will be teaching tatting too, so we're both hired by a yarn store. Not just A yarn store, but OUR yarn store, the one we love and cherish.

Louise joked that she should pay us in gift certificates. I think she was surprised when we not only agreed, but begged her to do so. That would solve our overspending on yarn habit. Well, it would hide it, truthfully, since money not coming into the house in cash needn't be added to the budget.

So, a house, a job in a yarn store, and hidden money. I'm a happy happy knitter.

Home Ownership

2006-08-04T23:02:00.000-04:00

We bought our house!

One year ago, surfing house sites and dreaming, I clicked on a rent-to-own ad. It was for a townhouse, 3 bedrooms and a fireplace, near my parents and far from the rapidly disintegrating hellhole of an apartment that we were living in.

The lady who was selling offered us a deal - we'd pay rent for a year, and a portion of each month's rent would be counted as downpayment. The rent would equal what a mortgage payment would be, and at the end of the year, we'd have paid a total of 5% down.

On Monday, we signed the final papers to shift ownership from her to us. Perfect. No moving. No set up fees for phone, cable, internet, electricity, etc. Just sign the papers and BINGO you're a landowner.

*looks around shiftily* And there was knitting. A lot of it. And a knitting job.

But I'll tell you all about that tomorrow.

blink blink Oh hello!

2006-06-04T13:57:00.000-04:00

After months and months of not writing everything, I've decided to try again.

Does anyone else in the blogoverse find themselves composing blog posts on the way home from work, and then getting distracted? By the time I get around to being on the computer, I feel as if I've written the post, and so I don't bother actually typing it.

I know, I know, one cannot actually blog directly brain to blog, but wouldn't it be nifty?

Anyhoo, I'm going to try to post more regularly.

In other news, I have RAOKs going out this week to a bunch of people. Some lovely Fleece Artist roving, and some pretty rainbowy yarn.

I'm working on this sock (yes, one, I still haven't ever finished one) made with this spiffy yarn that has aloe and jojoba oil in it. Louise at Yarn Foward says the oils last 20 to 30 washes. Handmade socks that moisturize your feet! Bets on if I'll finish them?

Cheers!

Bunnies and Kittens

2006-02-11T22:18:00.000-05:00

OK...

Remember that whole "I' glad we don't have cats anymore thing"?

Apparently I lied.

Now we have a cat again - a rescue, sort of .

And two rabbits.

I'm trying my first shawl for Harlot's Olympics.

My wife is, as usual, light years ahead of me in terms of learning new techniques.

More later....I finally have some time to blog again.

Cheers,
D

OOOoooOOO

2005-10-06T20:07:00.000-04:00

Nifty!

My lovely secret pal sent me a giftie which arrived today. Thank you thank you thank you! Inside was tea-tree and ginger facial scrub (mmmm...ginger) which smells lovely, a gorgeous purple bracelet that perfectly matched the dress I wore today, some polka-dotted post-it type notes (so very handy for aiding in following patterns) and...most interesting...some locking stitch markers.

Now, I will confess, I have absolutely no clue what one is SUPPOSED to use locking stitch markers for, although the picture on the package shows them festooning a sweater. I think, however, that you probably use them on things like shawls and sweaters to mark where you need to pick up stitches, or which row you should drop a stitch down to.

You know what that means, dearest readers? That's right! It means I need a new project, one which requires locking stitch markers. What's that, you say? I'm terrible at math (even worse than the Harlot and her 8 mistakes?). Why yes, yes I am. But I'm also gutsy! I'll start any project, any project at all, I will. (shhh...don't talk about finishing projects)

Oh! Speaking of finishing projects, I got a giggle today. My mom called. She's bored with a project, and wanted to know if I wanted to finish it for her. She was attempting to make thrummed mittens for my sister, currently studying in Germany. Instead, she found that thrumming is "boring. Really really boring. Like, I'd rather type on the computer, it's THAT boring."

Why did I giggle, you ask? Remember that lovely thrummed headband I was making last winter? Erm...it's hidden in the desk drawer from whence projects tend not to return. To give you an idea of how hidden...it's below ALL the socks.

Sooooo....anyone got any ideas for a lockable stitch marker project that won't inhabit a desk?

SP6 Questionnaire

2005-10-01T11:48:00.000-04:00

I just noticed that this questionnaire was different from the SP5 one, so here goes:

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer high-end/natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?

I am a bit of a yarn snob. I adore natural fibres, but I don’t mind super soft arcrylic for baby stuff. I detest ribbon yarns, thick/thins, and anything that squeaks on the needles. I’m always open to trying new things though.

2. Do you spin? Crochet?

I’m learning to spin. I have a Louet that is just lovely, but I’m not very good yet. Practice will aid that, or so the bloggers would have me believe. J right now I have a BIG bag of fibre to spin though, so my spinning needs are more than taken care of.

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)
Allergic to anything with hair (although I lived with two cats up until about 3 months ago, so it’s not too severe). Allergic to mold and mildew – which, of course, is everyone’s favourite SP5 gift to send. Commercial perfumes with alcohol bases really make me wheezy. I seem to be mildly allergic to alcohol in general, in fact. I’m a non smoker as well (funny, with the asthma, I never wanted to try it)

4. How long have you been knitting?

Started about three years ago, and promptly taught 150+ other people.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

I have an Amazon wishlist under the email orris2004 AT hotmail DOT com. The Amazon list was created primarily for friends and family, so please don’t think I’d ever expect (or even hope for) some of the objects in a SP5 gift.

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)

I love spicy scents like ginger, cloves, and cinnamon. I greatly dislike roses and lavendar scents. To give you an idea, I prefer all the men’s deodorant scents to the women’s. Fresh, light, non-floral is a great bet.

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Ummm. We’ll go with yes on this one. Yep, definitely yes. I’m particularly fond of hard candies. The one thing I can’t ever seem to find for myself is something called “spice gums”. They look like your usual sugar-rolled jujubes, but instead of fruit flavours, the white ones are clove, the red ones are cinnamon, the green ones mint etc.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?

I’m not actually very good with my hands, all the knitting to the contrary. The spinning, as mentioned above, is fairly disastrous, mainly because I simply don’t have a lot of time to practice (OK, and I knit when I DO have the time)

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I like just about every kind of music except really heavy metal or really heavy rock, and the twangy old fashioned country. Right now the music I’m listening to ranges from Clannad to Rhianna. My computer plays MP3s, and functions as my stereo. Mostly I like fun bouncy upbeat music.

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer?

I love deep jewel tones, and autumn colours – especially the red/browns. I’m not at all into neons; pink and I can’t cohabitate happily.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

I am married (one year on June 29th – it’s legal in Ontario) to a wonderful lady who makes me deleriously happy. In the past 8 months, we’ve had to put both our cats down, so we are pet-free or pet-less, depending on how much I miss having laundry peed on that day. We don’t have children yet, but would like to in the near future.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)
To keep teaching high school, to make a difference, to own a nice home on a biggish piece of land, to keep alpacas and goats and maybe bunny rabbits, to have children – several of them – and raise them as happy-healthy-intelligence-self-reliant people instead of the pet-accessories I’ve seen so many parents keep. To travel. To learn more languages. To brush up on my Welsh, which is over a decade rusty and wasn’t beyond the point and grunt method by much before. To learn to play my pruple violin. To conquer my tone-deafness. To change myself until washing dishes RIGHT after dinner becomes as automatic as it is for my mom. To live to a ripe old age with my wife by my side, as much in love then as we are now. To make other people happy, both in person and anonymously.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?
Honestly? Fleece Artist silk/merino blend. Failing that, I love soft, sock–to-worsted weight natural stuff. I like alpaca, cashmere, and luxury fibres, but will knit happily with almost anything that isn’t bulky, boucle, or squeaky/scratchy. I’d love to knit with cobweb or Shetland fine yarn, but I’m not sure if I’m good enough to try yet, since the patterns I’d try are the kinds that are annotated “Mary So-and-So took three years to spin the yarn for this shawl, and another five years to knit it up. She’d been knitting lace for forty years when she started, and still regards this shawl as her greatest achievement.” Me? Overachiever? Well, maybe. More likely a dreamer though. I also recently got to play with a little bit of the Euroflax lace weight and it was NICE.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
See above. Scratchy, squeaky, bumpy, rough.

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?
Knitted toys. Lace. Finishing something.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
I go back and forth on this. I like having a big simple project on the needles, so that I can carry it from class to class in the school where I teach, and not worry about losing the pattern, or dropping a stitch. I knit when the kids are working quietly, since it’s the only way I can watch them, not be bored, and not interrupt THEIR concentration when I am bored. So things like blankets, ponchos, etc are great. On the other hand, they’re also really boring when they hit the black hole stage. That's when I start playing with lace and hard patterns. Then I get fristrated and stop for a week or three. I love the idea of sweaters, but I’ve never made one since sleeves and necks scare me.

17. What are you knitting right now?

Oh. Umm. * scuffs her toe in the dirt and looks sheepish * A sweater, two to six socks ( I hide em), a shawl, and a bunch of patterns I look at but don’t buy so I'm just knitting in my head. Oh! And the corset thingy the Harlot was bloggin about…but I haven’t started that one, just bought the yarn.

18. What do you think about ponchos?
I love them, but I’m very plus-sized, so they tend to be given away when they make me look like a modern dancer who couldn’t quite squeeze all the way into the body bag.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
Circulars, generally. BUT I have a knitting club at my school (remember those 150+ people I taught to knit? Yes, they’re ALL in the club)…so straight needles from 4mm to 7 mm have all disappeared from my house, and will likely KEEP disappearing.

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic
Bamboo. Aluminum when there’s no bamboo. Plastic is way too slippery for me.

21. Are you a sock knitter?

I want to say yes, I dream of being able to say yes, I feel so “othered” having to say no, but….no. I have 4 socks cast on. the oldest is from before last Christmas. None of them have gone past the ribbing. (looks guilty) I DID manage to knit a pair of Fuzzy Feet from knitty. Do they count?

22. How did you learn to knit?
Well, my mom taught me, and I promptly forgot, having gotten frustrated that I couldn’t purl. Repeat process six more times from ages 6 to 17. In university, a schoolmate taught me to knit again, but again, no one could teach me to purl. A year ago at 28, I committed myself to teaching an entire class of kids to knit (so that I wouldn’t have to teach them to use the sewing machines…I HATE sewing, and the machines were 40+ years old and 9 different models). Overnight, I relearned knitting. Three days later, I taught myself to purl with some help (read “ARGH! Why can’t you do this??? OH, you need to HEAR the instructions not see them performed! Hmm...how to you indicate a loop without calling it a loop?”) from my wife, who I’D taught to knit just a few days before.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?

A year and a half. It’s a sock.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?

Raccons, otters, robins, and Eben and Snooch, the webcomic cats from TwoLumps. And Xena. She’s not animated, but is artificial enough to count.

25. What is your favorite holiday?

Canada Day because of the beautiful fireworks. Hallowe’en for the fun, costumes, and candy. Beltaine (May Day) for the fire, drumming, and dancing.

26. Is there anything that you collect?

Dust? Other than that: books, yarn, and pretty semi-precious rocks (amber/amethyst/etc) in their raw form.

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

None.

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?

Well, the whole sci-fi, fantasy, comparative religions, and knitting sections of Chapters. I love cooking too, and especially bread baking. I’m always trying new types of food. I’m a big foodie. Hmm…that MIGHT have something to do with the whole poncho problem, mightn’t it?

29. Any patterns you have been coveting, but haven't bought for one reason or another?
Zimmerman’s Pi shawl. I can’t find it outside a book.

30. What are your foot measurements, and what kind of socks do you like?
I wear a size 8 ladies. From heel to toe along the middle bottom of my foot is 9 inches. Across the widest part is about 4.5 inches.I like thin socks, generally, and lil patterns make me giggle. I teach drama, so I send a lot of time sock-footed.

Secret Pals are great!

2005-09-26T14:07:00.000-04:00

Hello folks!

I suddenly realized that my poor secret pal must be wondering if I've dropped off the face of the earth. I haven't; I'm still here!

In knitting news, I'm about 1/2 done a sweater in Jame C. Brett's Marble yarn. You can see the colourway here. Isn't it pretty? I'm heavily modifying the Kool-Aid dyed sweater from Stitch n Bitch. I sized up multiple sizes (so i'm terrified about fudging hte sleeves). I thought it would be HUGE on me, but no, it looks like it's a dear wife present. Thank heavens we like similar colours and textures.

I ordered the Cascading Hearts shawl pattern and yarn from Nandia. I'm not sure if I trust my ability to knit lace, especially with cashmere, but hey, it's worth a shot, eh? Besides, at least ripping out and untangling knots will feel lovely.

School is again eating up my time, although I may have worked a tiny lil trick to allow for extra blogging. I've assigned blogs to my English classes. They will create and maintain a bog, in character, for a semester. Computer lab time once every two weeks ought to help. Wheeeee!

As for the new house, it's nice. I love having a fireplace, and I adotre having more rooms. We're finding that the single huge room upstairs, with no seating, isn't being used enough though, so we're working on rearranging it til it does.

Now that I'm back at school, pictures of knitting and such will be forthcoming, as the yearbook camera does double duty. Stay tuned...I will actually be on more often.

For the lovely secret pal type person, I am terribly sorry that I have seemed to be awol. I do read email, I just seem to cut blogging in order to knit.

hugs!
ME!

Blog Filler

2005-09-10T20:29:00.000-04:00

Thank you to the best secret pal in the universe.

Thank you to the lady who sent me the lovely crane.

Thanks to the folks who pointed my towards violin lessons, and those who are just plain ol nice.

More posting, more neat stuff later.

For now, to hold your interest:

FACT: You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

Reasons Spiders are Scarier than Corks:

Even though champagne corks kills hundreds more people every year than poisonous spiders do, people are still more afraid of spiders. The following list covers some of the factors in the lack of cork awareness.

Stealth Factor: Spiders move silently and on their own. Corks make a loud pop noise and must be activated by a human.

Movement Pattern: Spiders will dodge and weave, moving in an unpredictable and therefore frighteningly random pattern. Champagne corks travel in a straight line unless deflected, at which time they follow the standard rules of physics regarding changes of vector and velocity.

Camoflague: Spiders come in many shapes, sizes and colours; champagne corks are standard in size and are only found next to champagne bottles, not next to anything at all.

The Russian Roulette Factor: People may be more careless around spiders because only some of them are poisonous. Thus, in overcompensation, it is safer to treat all spiders as deadly, even though most are not. The steady danger factor with champagne corks adds a sense of security because everyone knows both how to handle them and that all are potentially dangerous.

Legs: Spiders: too many. Champagne corks: none

Scary Movies: In this media driven age, few dangers are left unrepresented. Movies such as Arachnophobia have publicized the dangers of spiders and heightened public awareness. In contrast, the dangerous and lethal champagne cork receives much less press and thus stands in the shadows, waiting to catch the unsuspecting.

Close-ups: Spiders have fangs and drool and, if blown up to human size, would eat us. Champagne corks are dry and, if blown up to human size, would make excellent message boards. Furthermore, while a large spider moves faster and is more dangerous, an extremely large champagne cork has much greater inertia and presents as much threat as a large boulder.

Free will: Champagne corks are aimed, spiders choose their victims. The idea of being targeted by something with free will makes people feel much more persecuted than being struck with something that was aimed. After all, one can understand and thwart and have revenge upon a human who aims a champagne cork, but a spider goes to its death satisfied, and no true revenge is possible.

Another "Challenge"

2005-08-13T21:44:00.001-04:00

OK, so if you've learned anything at all about me, you've learned that I take on a lot, usually in huge chunks.

After all, I learned to knit and then taught all those kids.

I walked all night (for cancer) as penance for not walking a 5K (for CHEO - the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario).

I bought a house on 1 day's notice. Ok, the paperwork's going to last a year, but it was less than 24 hours between "Look at this ad online, love" and "I think we're going to be very happy there, I'm glad we signed."

If you've learned two things about me, the second may be that I spontaneously buy hobbies. Witness the fact that my budget now has a "yarn" category. Moreover, my darling wife has the same boredom/indulgence/overdoing it pattern that I have.

SHE is the one who figured out that yarn is pretty, and colourful, and can be hung in hanging baskets instead of flowers. Thus yarn is decorative. Thus DECORATIVE yarn (as opposed to black/white/grey/neutral-y colours) is NOT in the yarn budget. It is a part of the "house maintenance" budget, by dint of being a decoration on the same level as extra chairs, paint, wallpaper, or a garden.

So knowing these things about me/us, you'll surely not be terribly surprised when I tell you the following two things:

1) I bought my wife a violin
2) I bought one for myself too. Mine's purple.

Do I know how to play? Nope. Can my wife? Double nope. Can I even read music? Nopers, but she can. Of course, we've proven conclusively that we shoudl never attempt to teach each other any skill. The look of sheer frustration on her face as she attempted to explain tatting to me was enough there.

Most importantly :Can I fiddle and knit? Well.....possibly. But I find it unlikely.

So I'm sitting here, waiting for the ebay shipment of two violins to arrive, wondering how I'll fit knitting and learning to play violin AND fiddle (same intrument, different technique..Google's my friend) into the last 2 weeks of summer vacation, while hosting a housewarming party, prepping for my new courses, unpacking my house (AFTER the party...housework is eternal, but friends get cranky if there's no party within a month of moving), and all that other neat stuff.

Anyone know how to fiddle? And how to teach by email?

D

New Home

2005-08-09T17:34:00.000-04:00

Sorry about that, folks.

I hadn’t realized it’d been this long since I posted. There’s simply been so much happening. Let’s start with the biggest and best thing of all:

WE HAVE A HOUSE!

About late June, we went into negotiations with a lady who owns a nice townhouse in a MUCH better area of town. The deal is that we pay her rent for a year. At the end of the year, 40% of what we paid is accepted by her as a legal 5% down payment on the purchase price of the house. The rent was set by her so that our mortage payments, as calculated by the bank, would be exactly equal to the rent we pay the first year. Thus, if we can afford the rent, we can afford the mortgage.

So we’ve moved from a one bedroom apartment in the nasty area of town to a three bedroom, one and a half bathroom townhouse in one of the nicer areas of town.

Happy happy joy joy!

Fill you in on more tomorrow.

Back to Life....back to reality

2005-06-14T20:12:00.000-04:00

Hello fearless readers.

So, I've found out something about myself. When stress and bad things hit, my desire to cocoon and not talk to anyone apparently extends to blogging. However, in the interests of making sure my Secret Pal is in the loop, and in response to those readers who've sent me "Are you OK" mails, I thought I'd best overcome that desire to be mute.

Two weeks ago, we put the second (and last) of our two cats down. Tora was a wonderful companion, soft and gentle and full of purring mischief. She was a beautiful cat, with Siamese colouring and turquoise eyes. (In fact, she was a Tonkinese ) She was from the same litter as Mya, who we put down just after Christmas. We had hoped that Mya's problems were medical and Tora's were just, pardon the pun, copy cat peeings. But when Tora was clearly following the same patterns, with the same beginning signs of pain, we decided that we couldn't put ourselves or another cat through the stress that we'd been through with Mya. The decision was made much more difficult by the fact that Tora seemed far healthier than Mya had. Nevertheless, it was the right thing to do. We are now catless, or catfree, depending on how nostalgic I feel for cat-pee soaked clothing, furniture, or flooring. My asthma is better than it has been in the five years we've had cats. The house cleans more easily. The knitting doesn't tangle. I miss her.

On June 2nd, my uncle Chuck passed away. Tumours in his spinal cord were an ongoing problem in the last few years. Last year he went from an active go-getter to a wheelchair bound go-getter in just seven weeks. Through the whole ordeal, through pain meds that sent him into microsleeps and pain meds that didn't work at all, through building a wheelchair ramp with his whole community to building lasting memories with his family, Chuck remained positive, joyful, and full of life. When the same tumours showed up in his brain, he chose not to endure any more surgery, radiation, or chemotherapy. His example of courage breaks my heart and makes me so so very proud.

Finally, my wife's recent visit to a hemotologist has lead us to worry. There is a chance she may have von Willebrand's disease, or haemophilia. This puts our plans for children into a bit of a bind. Luckily, I have a womb too, and adoption is an option if all else fails, but the idea of a disease, especially a genetic one, is scary.

While trying to NOT say any of these things, I omitted writing about smaller joys.

I walked in the Relay for Life in Ottawa - an overnight 12 hour relay to raise money for cancer research. This year I halved my lap time compared to last year. Next year I hope to halve it again.

The yearbooks were delivered, and the students at my high school were overwhelmingly positive about them. Next year, I'm doing it again, this time with experience!

Our contract is about to be settled, meaning I don't have to worry about strikes for the next few years. I have opinions about teachers striking, but rumour has it that bloggin such things can set the union on you, so that shall have to suffice.

I haven't finished a single project in knitting, but I HAVE acquired a cheerful friendly Secret Pal, who emailed me Sunday to say a package was en route. Today the littel Canada Post notice arrived sayign that the package was in town, but also that it would not be available for pickup til tomorrow after 1. Secret Pal, this blog entry's for you.

Furthermore, the secret pal I'm sending stuff to is a lovely lady, and both I and my DW are having fun trying to assemble neat stuff for her.

I have THREE entries into my blog contest on weirdest teen trends. Prizes will be sent out the 16th, but it's not too late to join in.

DW's job has realized that she's simply brilliant. They've made a suggestion that she write her own job description in a way that will make her most happy and most useful to the largest number of uber-managers. That was smart of them.

Please note: this is not an "I-love-her" exaggeration. My wife is almost freakishly bright, but very quiet and modest. It therefore takes most folks by surprise that she can look at a problem, tilt her head, and develop a solution before you've blinked twice. The last computer consultant at her company that she interacted with said only "But...but...you can't DO that with Excel!" for a period of several hours. HE was supposed to be the expert. SHE was just the person recently promoted from the warehouse. The lady is SMART and competent and a very hard worker, and works for a company that recognizes and rewards all three.

My final exams are written and in the vault at school. My Drama class is proving themselves more talented than they thought they ever could be, and acquitted themselves brilliantly in front of an audience. My other class is taking responsibility for their decisions, even the ones that cause about a quarter of them to fail.

This is a positive sign. A student who says "My work habits need work, but I really enjoyed the course. I learned a lot." is a success in my heart, if not on paper. One who passes, but says "I got a low mark because the teacher hates me" is not a success in my heart. My job is teaching, but the curriculum, while very important, isn't the only thing teachers teach. If I send a kid out into the summer with no credit because he was working the 4 pm-2 am shift and simply never managed to hand in essays or assignments (even after months of extensions), but that kid goes from my class to the library to take out a book on something that intrigued him, then he's becoming a learner and a thinker. Any kid, with enough push from parents and sufficient money for leisure, can learn to "play school". Kids who learn to learn impress me.

So there you have it. The bitter and the sweet. Sorry that it took me so very long.

PS: ENTER THE CONTEST!

Secret pal 5 Answers

2005-06-03T21:08:00.000-04:00

Normal blogging will return soon. The contest (see the last entry) is still open until June 15th. Diane, right now you win the prize, by default. Cross your fingers no one will read me?

I feel semi-guilty answering these questions, but I understand that they may be useful to Secret pals and RAOKers alike, so here goes:

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?

I am a bit of a yarn snob. I adore natural fibres, but I don’t mind super soft arcrylic for baby stuff. I detest ribbon yarns, thick/thins, and anything that squeaks on the needles. I’m always open to trying new things though.

2. Do you spin? Crochet?

I’m learning to spin. I have a Louet that is just lovely, but I’m not very good yet. Practice will aid that, or so the bloggers would have me believe. J

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)

Allergic to anything with hair (although I lived with two cats up until about 3 months ago, so it’s not too severe). Allergic to mold and mildew – which, of course, is everyone’s favourite SP5 gift to send. Commercial perfumes with alchol bases really make me wheezy. I seem to be mildly allergic to alcohol in general, in fact.

4. How long have you been knitting?

Started about three years ago, and promptly taught 150+ other people.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

I have an Amazon wishlist under the email orris2004 AT hotmail DOT com and a knitpicks wishlist, but I’m not sure if it’s visible to others. The Amazon list is for friends and family, so please don’t think I’d ever expect (or even hope for) some of the objects in a SP5 gift.

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)

I love spicy scents like ginger, cloves, and cinnamon.

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Yes, especially for hard candy and dark chocolate.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?

Honestly, very little. We live in a one bedroom apartment, which limits crafting space. Both I and my wife knit and are learning spinning, so this is severe limitation on other crafts. My wife tats, but I’m not a tatter.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I like just about every kind of music except really heavy metal or really heavy rock, and the twangy old fashioned country. My computer plays MP3s, and functions as my stereo. Mostly I like fun bouncy upbeat music.

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand?

Love deep jewel tones, and autumn colours. Not at all into neons, and pink and I can’t cohabitate happily.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

I am married (one year on June 29th – it’s legal in Ontario) to a wonderful lady who makes me deleriously happy. In the past 6 months, we’ve had to put both our cats down, so we are pet-free or pet-less, depending on how much I miss having laundry peed on that day. We don’t have children yet, but would like to in the near future.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)

To keep teaching high school, to make a difference, to own a nice home on a biggish piece of land, to keep alpacas and goats and maybe bunny rabbits, to have children – several of them – and raise them as happy-healthy-intelligence-self-reliant people instead of the pet-accessories I’ve seen so many parents keep. To travel. To learn more languages. To brush up on my Welsh, which is over a decade rusty and wasn’t beyond the point and grunt method by much before. To change myself until washing dishes RIGHT after dinner becomes as automatic as it is for my mom. To live to a ripe old age with my wife by my side, as much in love then as we are now. To make other people happy, both in person and anonymously.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?

Honestly? Fleece Artist silk/merino blend. Failing that, I love soft, sock–to-worsted weight natural stuff. I like alpaca, cashmere, and luxury fibres, but will knit happily with almost anything that isn’t bulky, boucle, or squeaky/scratchy. I’d love to knit with cobweb or Shetland fine yarn, but I’m not sure if I’m good enough to try yet, since the patterns I’d try are the kinds that are annotated “Mary So-and-So took three years to spin the yarn for this shawl, and another five years to knit it up. She’d been knitting lace for forty years when she started, and still regards this shawl as her greatest achievement.” Me? Overachiever? Well, maybe.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?

See above. Scratchy, squeaky, bumpy, rough.

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?

Knitted toys. Lace. Finishing something.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
Lace, sweaters, shawls, hats, anything but socks, which for some reason fly across rooms and hit walls every single time I work on them.

17. What are you knitting right now?

Three socks – any of which will be “my first sock” when it’s done, a shawl, a sweater, a thrummed earband, 9 baby blankets, and a teddy bear.

18. What do you think about ponchos?

I love them, but I’m very plus-sized, so they tend to be given away when they make me look like a modern dancer who couldn’t quite squeeze all the way into the body bag.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?

Either, depending on the project. I’ve been using a lot of circulars recently.

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?

Bamboo.

21. Are you a sock knitter?

Ummm…no. Not yet. I mean, I feel all in the minority, but I just can’t seem to finish them.

22. How did you learn to knit?

Well, my mom taught me, and I promptly forgot, having gotten frustrated that I couldn’t purl. Repeat process six more times from ages 6 to 17. In university, a schoolmate taught me to knit again, but again, no one could teach me to purl. A year ago at 28, I committed myself to teaching an entire class of kids to knit (so that I wouldn’t have to teach them to use the sewing machines…I HATE sewing, and the machines were 40+ years old and 9 different models). Overnight, I relearned knitting. Three days later, I taught myself to purl with some hep (read “Why can’t you do this? OH, you need to HEAR the instructions not see them performed”) from my wife, who I’D taught to knit a few days before.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?

Ummm…about 1 year.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?

Raccons, otters, robins, unicorns, and Eben and Snooch, the webcomic cats from TwoLumps. And Xena. Not animated, but artificial enough to count.

25. What is your favorite holiday?

Canada Day because of the beautiful fireworks. Hallowe’en for the fun, costumes, and candy. Beltaine (May Day) for the fire, drumming, and dancing.

26. Is there anything that you collect?

Dust? Other than that: books, yarn, and pretty semi-precious rocks (amber/amethyst/etc) in their raw form.

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

None. I buy Interweave Knits from Chapters on occasion.

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?

Well, the whole sci-fi, fantasy, comparative religions, and knitting sections of Chapters. I love cooking too, and especially bread baking. I’m always trying new types of food.

ROAK'D!

2005-05-23T13:18:00.000-04:00

Hello fearless readers,

Sorry for the lag time in posting. I was involved in the school play, and ended up spending a lot of time memorizing lines, and even *gasp* rehearsing. One of our super-fantastic Drama teachers (a playwright in his own right) put on Up The Down Staircase. In it were parts for a number of teachers, including yours truly. I got to play Ella, a Guidance counsellor who believes passionately in Personality Profiles, and very little in anything else.

The play was fun, but exhausting. I had only a bit part - I can't imagine how the director felt. Poor man was likley tired nigh unto death. As a result of the tiredness, I hadn't posted. This is the May Two-Four weekend, for those of you not Canadian, "The twenty-fourth of May is the Queen's Birthday. If we don't get a holiday we'll all run away" - we celebrate the birthday of Queen Victoria - may she rest in peace- with...well..mostly beer and fireworks and a long weekend. I thought I'd relax and start posting again on Tuesday.

However, I was RAOK'd (random act of kindness'd) by Maryellen at Garrison's Garret . She sent me an adorable card with a cat on a green background, and a nifty piece of origami. She also mentioned that she was afraid that the kids with faces covered at my school were participating in a new teen trend. Then she looked at the pictures and realized how many of my students are Muslim.

But that got me thinking: 1)What crazy trends did you participate in as a teen? 2)What trends do you see happening around you, and how crazy do you think they'll become? 3)What imaginary trend, made up by you, can you convince at least one other person to try (and be photographed doing)?

Best answers to each question (most creative, most fun, most logical, best picture posted on your blog as proof) will receive a small prize from yours truly. You may enter in each category, but please explain clearly what your intended category is.

I'm going to wander off and start thinking of neat prizes.

Hmm...So I CAN do it

2005-05-09T11:42:00.000-04:00

Just walked 5.2 km in 70 minutes. For those of you who are not metric, that's about 2.67 miles an hour. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I think I'd like to finish the race in under an hour. That seems do-able without being too high.

Baby blanket number one is 2/3 finished, coming up quickly on 3/4. I like big needles and yarn.

You Spin Me Right Round (or, i'm not at the Maryland Thingy Either, but I Don't Mind)

2005-05-07T21:37:00.000-04:00

Yay! Today I finally learned how to use my spinning wheel. With the extensive aid of the kindly and proficient Elizabeth Watt, I learned to spin.

Nope, you can't see pictures; the camera is at school. however, I will tell you that I love love love my Louet. Elizabeth was wise and made sure that our spinning class had the opportunity to try different wheels than our own. After trying a few double treadles, and a castle wheel, I returned gratefully to my own.

I must admit to being a little wistful that the Sleeping Beauty style wheel didn't feel as good as it looked, but at least I don't have to buy one now. Well, maybe not. I think. It really depends on what my dear wife decides SHE enjoys spinning on. Oh, yes, and on us getting a house.

We're coming to the conclusion that it's about a year before we can truly afford a decent house. That's another year of a one bedroom, quite small, apartment containing a yarn stash, a cat, a 36 inch Leclerc floor loom, and a spinning wheel. *grin* We're cozy and warm all the way through winter.

Before I continue, thank you for kind comments and emails. That grotty day was cheered immensely by your words, EVERYONE'S words, not just Stephanie's. Although I was tickled pink to get an email from Dear Wife saying "Harlot reads YOU", I was equally tickled that Elizabeth, the lovely spinning teacher lady (who wore her Yarn-A-Go-Go shirt today), and "dyke", whose Downward Facing Life I read religiously, and Sara, who I think is in Great Britain and whose life makes me put everything in perspective, also commented. Hmmmm...and the English teacher writes yet another run on sentence. Ah well, it's true.

In other news, I've almost finished the first of 9 baby blankets. Yep. Nine. Why nine you ask? Well, because that's how many people at work are having, or have had in the last two months, new babies.

As for the walking/running. I can walk 5km. I can't run. Not at all. So, having accepted this, I'm going to aim for being able to walk the 5km fast this time, and register for one in fall to run. I'm not giving up. If Terry Fox can run a marathon a day on one leg, I can get off m'arse and walk. (great pep talk, eh? note the lack of off-arsedness? Shhhhh)

So happy cheerful me is back, on top of life again, and signing off to tackle the mountain of dishes that occurred when our apartment's water supply was suddenly non-existent. We have water, and spinning, and knitting, and life is good good good.

May you all be well.

2005-05-07T21:35:00.000-04:00

Bride and Groom, meet destiny in the form of a slightly befuddled Anglican minister.

2005-05-07T21:34:00.000-04:00

The most gorgeous smile in the world belonged to Tammy on her wedding day. (please note, ONLY that day. The rest of the time MY wife's smile is nicer, but last Saturday, the angels themselves looked rather shabby)

My Best Friend's Wedding

2005-05-07T21:31:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday my best friend, Tammy, whom I’ve known since we were about 8, got married. She had a fairy tale wedding, with a tall handsome groom, a confection of a wedding dress, bridemaids who adored her, a perfect dance with her dad, and a wedding cake baked and decorated by her mom.

Tammy is one of those people who make me believe in goodness, morality, honesty, and decency. As long as people like her exist in the world, it’ll be OK. Better yet, her new husband is the same sort of person. I hope they have passels of kids, all of whom recognize and inherit the inherent decentness and pleasantness of their parents.

Congratulations, Tammy and Andrew.

Yikes

2005-05-03T10:22:00.000-04:00

Reader Warning: not my usual chatty optimistic self. Kinda a downer of a post. Tune in soon for Cheerful Me. Today I can't muster the energy.

26 days to get into shape. Hurt my back earlier this week, and am back down to 1km a day, and that's walking, folks, not running. Have decided I'm doing the race come hell or high water, but that I'm wakling the whole thing. I may run the last ten steps if I'm feeling perky.

Marking is less than fun. Principals from other schools are wandering all around, making my life jumpy, since I'm having a seriously incompetent day. I'm having a "wife tells you to check your pants pocket for your keys after you spend almost 15 minutes turning the house upside down for them, bought milk on the way to school but it was sour, long meeting after school, TV to show class movie on is broken kinda day. so, of course, what I need is principals wandering in to watch me be incompetent. Made worse by the fact I sincerely respect my own principal, and want him to look good.

Knitting is coming along slowly. About 15% through a baby blanket. Seems like everyone in the entire universe is pregnant except me. Trying desperately not to feel crappy and paranoid and depressed about this fact. Failing.

So, yeah. Sorry to burden you folks. Kudos to those who read this far.

D

2005-04-18T18:41:00.000-04:00

This is about 2/3 of the Knitting Club. Most of the other 1/3 won't allow pictures to be taken of them. Some even wear full facial coverings all day, so even I have no clue what they look like. No, that's not weird. I don't know what YOU look like either, and we enjoy each other. :)

Time to Regroup

2005-04-18T18:28:00.000-04:00

First - the excellent news: We're planning a trip Down East. That's right, we're off to see the home of the Fleece Artist, the ocean, and all things in between. The great thing about being married to a knitter is that SHE is more excited than I am. I'm also a much faster knitter than I was, which is good, since women seem to be breaking out in children wherever I go. I'm not jealous. Honest. *sniffle*

Next - the good news: The kids at school are starting to ask for harder patterns. For most, harder means stockingette scarves or *gasp* ribbing, but it's wonderful nonetheless. (picture of the kids below...I counted, it's closer to half, not 2/3)

Finally - the news that involves work: So, yearbook's finally in, midterm marks are entered, and I have no more excuses. Today I weighed myself and found that a month of stress and eating out equals a 5 pound weight gain...BUT...the doctor's scale, which is actually accurate, says my scale weighs ten pounds heavy. So, even though I've gained 5 lbs, the numbers LOOK like I've lost another 5.

Unfortunately, nothing will allow me to fake physical fitness, so I guess I'm just going to have to exercise. Thank you very much to those who urged me to keep trying to run the 5K at the end of May. I don't think I made myself clear though. I HAVE to do the 5K, so I'm not able to back out. I'm also far far far from able at the moment. By far from able, I mean that running 100 feet leaves me all gaspy and fish-faced. Soooo....training R us.

I'm going to face mockery and try walk/running on the school's track. (It would be a teasing, friendly mockery. The students are pretty pleasant about such things, but the boys won't be able to avoid showing off, bless em, and I'm just pig headed enough to try to race.)

Training and eating properly, I SHOULD go from unable to run 100 feet to able to run 5K in a month, right? Right? *listens to the chorus of giggles* OK, so I'm dreaming in technicolour. Stay tunes to this blog for more hilarity, as an obese knitter not only learns to run, but also finished project. (soon? Maybe.)

2005-04-16T22:15:00.001-04:00

And yes, more buttons. PLEASE read down, there ARE a number of non picture posts below.

2005-04-16T22:15:00.000-04:00

BIG BIG buttons

2005-04-16T22:14:00.003-04:00

More buttons

2005-04-16T22:14:00.002-04:00

Bee buttons

2005-04-16T22:14:00.001-04:00

Buttons

2005-04-16T22:14:00.000-04:00

She does embroidery. It says so in Season one. Betcha she knits too. GOSH I love Xena.

2005-04-16T22:13:00.001-04:00

The next Big Bad Baby Blanket will be rainbow bright.

2005-04-16T22:13:00.000-04:00

My colour choice

2005-04-16T22:12:00.002-04:00

Yarn destined for a shawly thing - DW's colour choice

2005-04-16T22:12:00.001-04:00

DW gets into the stash BEFORE I can take a picture.

2005-04-16T22:12:00.000-04:00

A "little" reward for finishing tearbook ermm..yearbook.

Stash Enhancement OR There's No Such Thing as a Bad $2 Ball of Yarn

2005-04-16T22:05:00.000-04:00

Hey folks? Micheals, which I would not normally spend money at, is selling off Wool-Ease worsted weight yarn for $2 a ball. Yes, that's $2 Canadian. So we did a little stash enhancement. A smidgen.

And since Chapters is right next door...2 new Mercedes Lackey books ( a guilty pleasure, I'll admit...they're the fantasy version of Harlequin romance or Nancy Drew mysteries - predicable and comforting, a light read).

Oh, and Xena. Erm. Well. See....I LIKE point metal things. Swords, knitting needles. And for some reason, Xena reminds me of my wife.

ROAK'd

2005-04-16T21:59:00.000-04:00

April 15th
I was RAOK'd by Carrie of Southern Fried Knitting She sent me a lovely note reminding me to have a Knitastic Day. I have done as she commanded.

YEARBOOK'S DONE OVER FINITO

2005-04-16T21:57:00.000-04:00

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

One hundred and twelve pages of writing, correcting, editing, picture placing, software glitch fixing, excuse busting, name finding, and fellow staff member hounding is finally over.

I'm waiting for the proofs to come back, but right now it's looking pretty darned good.

2005-04-16T21:47:00.000-04:00

Me, the Yarn Harlot and my "I'm too shy to be in a picture" wife's GORGEOUS Fleece Artist shawl. Pattern from Fiddlesticks Knitting.

2005-04-16T21:46:00.001-04:00

Stephanie's hair teaches a newbie to knit. *I* think she has lovely hair.

2005-04-16T21:46:00.000-04:00

Yarn Forward Advertises Her

The Harlot was in MY LYS!!!!

2005-04-16T21:10:00.000-04:00

OK, fearless readers, I apologize. I've been writing blog posts, but literally not having time to post them, so you're about to read several days' worth one after another.

APRIL 7th

Yesterday, I went to pick my wife up after work, and her eyes were all twinkly. "Love," she informed me, "we have to go to Yarn Forward tomorrow night." never one to resit temptation, I conceded instantly. Then I got suspicious. "Why?" "Because the Yarn Harlot's going to be there. She's doing a book signing."

Please note, at this point, I was not yet driving. This is a good thing, as I instantly grabbed my wife and squealed with joy. Yes, I squealed. I know, such behaviour is reserved for cheerleaders and winners on the Price is Right, but this was HARLOT. Stephanie Frickin Pearl-McPhee was coming to MY LYS.

Of course, we went to Yarn Forward last night too, to buy a copy of the bookbookbook before it sold out. Louise, the lovely lady who takes most of our savings away, and let me put Fleece Artist yarn on layaway, was bouncing up and down, clapping her hands, and squeaking. Louise does not squeal. She makes an adorable and terribly contagious EEEEEEEE noise, but it is NOT squealing.

This morning, the two of us debated what we were going to wear, and exactly how fast we could drive from South Ottawa to West Ottawa without risking speeding tickets. Generally neither of us care much about clothing, barring making sure we don't get fired or arrested, but we knit. And, unfortunately, we give almost everything we knit away. Thus my wife wore everyday clothes, and I wore jeans, a black T shirt, and the Fleece Artist Shawl my wife made.

We arrived at the store almost an hour before Stephanie was due to leave for the Bank Street location of the same store. I've never seen an hour go faster in my life. Stephanie is actually FAR more fun in person than she is in writing...and that's saying something. Moreover, she wasn't scary. I was half expecting to leave in tears, having met greatness and knowing I'd never make it. Instead, I left the store with joy and hope. That lady is amazing.

Better yet, she almost didn't give my wife's shawl BACK. My quiet, reserved, dignified wife was dancing and wiggling her butt around, chanting "Harlot likes my shaaawwwwwl" for the rest of the night.

While we were there, I learned a new pattern, a new way of holding needles, and had books signed for my family and my school club (153 knitters and counting!). Then Stephanie's publisher-lady donated a copy of Running a Teen Knitting Club to the school too! I asked her to sign it. Fair's fair.

A whirlwind hour of fun later, Stephanie left to sign more books at the Bank Street branch of the store. We stuck around, chatted with Louise, and walked out with joy, bookbookbooks and a couple of skeins of black cobweb yarn.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Forget yearbook!

Too Stressed to Breathe

2005-03-29T06:29:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks,

Due to immense and brutal amounts of yearbook stress, deadlines that are already missed and rapidly approaching the "We can't print your book" stage, and general life nastiness, I do not have the time to give you all a proper blogging.

To get an idea of what's going on Chez Orris, tuck the wailing of 300 graduating high school students; the firm voice of a very nice principal who is just concerned; the voices of a dozen teachers who "don't see what the problem is" with submitting four team pictures each, three weeks AFTER publish date, without so much as a team title or member name attached, and a camera that isn't always up to par.

Add a liberal dose of parent teacher interviews (yes, I swear, the teachers hate them more than you do.) and oh yeah, some marking, and then mix liberally with a strong shot of real life.

Did I mention I want to run a 5 km race in a month and a half? Well, I can WALK it right now. I wish I had time. I wish I had about 4 months of total do-nothingness.
Instead...well...I have the best wife in the world, and a blogiverse to rant into.

Thank you for listening, somehow you made it better.

Orris

My very own forward

2005-03-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, a "helpful" friend named Jim sent me the following fact: You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a spider. He thought perhaps it would help me get over my heebie jeebies about the eight legged nasty lil buggers. Please note, I do not scream, hide, or run. I prefer to let DW get rid of spiders, but am perfectly capable of doing it myself. I even held still while a tarantula walked over me, to prevent a 3 year old from becoming afraid of it. I simply don't like spiders.

After I wrote the response below, I emailed it not only to Jim, but to others. Please feel free to do the same if you find it funny. I don't even care if you don't add my name or website, so long as you do not take credit for it yourself. I rather enjoy the idea that I can make someone else giggle. AND, as a bonus, perhaps those people who keep forwarding ME "funny" things will get the hint when I casually drop that not only have I seen that forward, I wrote it. Hope springs eternal. Enjoy.

FACT: You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

Reasons Spiders are Scarier than Corks:

Even though champagne corks kills hundreds more people every year than poisonous spiders do, people are still more afraid of spiders. The following list covers some of the factors in the lack of cork awareness.

Stealth Factor: Spiders move silently and on their own. Corks make a loud pop noise and must be activated by a human.

Movement Pattern: Spiders will dodge and weave, moving in an unpredictable and therefore frighteningly random pattern. Champagne corks travel in a straight line unless deflected, at which time they follow the standard rules of physics regarding changes of vector and velocity.

Camoflague: Spiders come in many shapes, sizes and colours; champagne corks are standard in size and are only found next to champagne bottles, not next to anything at all.

The Russian Roulette Factor: People may be more careless around spiders because only some of them are poisonous. Thus, in overcompensation, it is safer to treat all spiders as deadly, even though most are not. The steady danger factor with champagne corks adds a sense of security because everyone knows both how to handle them and that all are potentially dangerous.

Legs: Spiders: too many. Champagne corks: none

Scary Movies: In this media driven age, few dangers are left unrepresented. Movies such as Arachnophobia have publicized the dangers of spiders and heightened public awareness. In contrast, the dangerous and lethal champagne cork receives much less press and thus stands in the shadows, waiting to catch the unsuspecting.

Close-ups: Spiders have fangs and drool and, if blown up to human size, would eat us. Champagne corks are dry and, if blown up to human size, would make excellent message boards. Furthermore, while a larger spider moves faster and is more dangerous, an extremely large champagne cork has much greater inertia and presents as much threat as a large boulder.

Free will: Champagne corks are aimed, spiders choose their victims. The idea of being targeted by something with free will makes people feel much more persecuted than being struck with something that was aimed. After all, one can understand and thwart and have revenge upon a human who aims a champagne cork, but a spider goes to its death satisfied, and no true revenge is possible.

I don't know which is worse...

2005-03-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

I don't know which is worse, the fact that I'm a nerd, or the fact that I'm thrilled to have scored this high.

Monday Morning Update

2005-03-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

Good morning, bloggers and blog readers of the world!

It is officially March Break. That is a reason to be happy.

I have finally finished the Baby Blanket. THAT is a reason to be happy.

I also finished a tiny lil stuffed rabbit. THAT is a reason to be happy (and to recharge the camera batteries so that I can take pictures....tomorrow, I promise. He's adorable.)

A pack of blessings lights upon my back! (apologies to poor Will)

Aside from committing myself to speaking to you folks regularly, there are a couple of other things I want to do this week. First of all, I'd like to learn how to scare dust elephants. We have quite the herd rolling around the house, and I'm going to teach them to mosey along this week. My parents and siblings are coming for dinner Saturday night, so I have encouragement there. Perhaps I'll clean the rest of the house too.

Secondly, I'd like to redo the bathroom a little bit. I'm buying a new shower curtain today, but I may also pick up some edging, or paint, or something. DW says she'd rather not sink money into an apartment, but that if it makes me happy and she needs to do nothing, she won't object. Anyone got any ideas? The bathroom's about 6x6 (cramped and tiny), and currently painted glossy white, with a white toilet, white sink, and peachy tub. The countertop is white with browny swirls that I assume are intended to look like marble. I figure I can hide the tub with the curtain. I'm a little concerned about the gianormous crack running along the ceiling, around the non-functional fan, but there's very little I can do about that.

Third, I may...MAY...be learning to spin this week. A lovely lady with the Ottawa Valley Spinners and Weavers guild said she might have time to take on a student this week, and will be getting back to me. Hey, it's March, do you think it's time I broke in the new spinning wheel? Me too.

Fourth, I'd like to walk, at least a little, every day this week. Or do some other exercisey thing. Did I mention I signed up to run a 5km race? No? Hmmm...maybe that's because I was embarrassed to admit it. I started walking/training last week. Wednesday I walked 3.5 km in an hour. Thursday I walked 4km in a little over an hour. Friday I hurt. Saturday I vegged. Sunday I allowed myself to wallow in not-doing-anythingness. I'm thinking perhaps I ought to try skipping the hurting, vegging, and wallowing, and stick with the walking.

Fifth, I'd like to COOK this week. I love cooking, and I'm decent at it, but I never seem to have the time. This week is an excellent break to stock the fridge/freezer with goodies for the stressful "Let's go out for supper instead" nights.

Sixth, I'd like to prepare some RAOKs to send out next week. Not this week, when I have absolutely no cash (yes, I realize that redoing the bathroom costs money...shhhhh), but next week, when I can afford to do so.

Finally, I'd like to get all of my marking done. Yes, I know, it's a pipe dream. Especially since I'm counting assembling yearbook pages as part of marking. But, nonetheless, it's a goal.

You know what I love MOST about goals? Do you? Huh, huh, do you? They give you such a lovely, consistent, quantitative measurement of exactly HOW guilty you should be feeling about goofing off.

You know what I like most about guilt? Ignoring it until it goes away.

Slothfully yours,
Orris

2005-03-14T12:21:00.000-05:00

Picture 5 - This is my favourite of the five. Why did I need to show you five? Because this was the first major project I've ever undertaken, and I'm five times proud of myself. Besides, I'm rather curious to see how the colours and textures look on my blog proper. Finally, because I have absolutely no idea how to make Hello and BloggerBot post into just one post on Blogger.

2005-03-14T12:20:00.000-05:00

Picture 4 - This one shows the texture a smidgen better.

2005-03-14T12:19:00.001-05:00

Picture 3...hardly a difference.

2005-03-14T12:19:00.000-05:00

Picture 2

2005-03-14T12:18:00.000-05:00

Picture one of five subtly different pics of the big bad BORING baby blanket.

Oh dear Lady, let it not be too short!

2005-03-07T21:24:00.000-05:00

Whhhheeeee! Cara at earth mother invited me to be part of a webring of Ontario knitters. I feel all happy and warm now.

Well, here I am, 15 lbs lighter. At this point, I swore I'd treat myself to some pampering. Unfortunately, my idea of pampering isn't always fun for me. yes, I realize it's weird.

So.....today I went to get my hair cut. Now, for most women, this might indeed be a treat, but I've been fighting my hair...and my hairdressers....for as long as I can remember. You see, when i was about 10, my mother forced me to get a perm. I had straight hair. I liked straight hair. I wanted long gorgeous silky ankle length straight hair. My mom wanted a short perm. It would be "cute" and "easy to care for" while I was in the hospital for my then upcoming tonsillectomy.

It took a little too well. Does anyone out there remember the 80's poodle perm? Yup, that perm. AND the darling hairdresser sold my mom a "pick" for it, explaining that brushes and combs were passe. My new afro did not suit my milk and freckles skin, green eyes, and mouse brown hair. Not even a little.

It also did not grow out.

Never. My curls are much looser now, mostly because I grew my hair long enough that the weight pulls them out of their astro-boy angled wildness.

As it turns out, I also have the slowest growing hair known to man. Through high school, my hair was in the growing out "awkward" stage. In university, it was finally long enough to tie back.

Today, a very nice lady cut..trimmed...my hair for me. I lost a couple of inches, OK, a number of inches. It used to reach mid back and now it's shoulder length; but I know from past experience that I'll have no idea how much shorter my hair will seem until tomorrow after it's gotten wet. Sneaky lady blew it straight for me. I feel like Daisy Duke right now.

It's fun. I keep tossing my head to watch my hair float lightly around my face. I can run my fingers through it without snagging. AND, may all the gods bless her, the woman actually realized I meant the following:

I have to be able to tie it into a ponytail
I part it in the middle, with a brush, when wet, and never touch it again.
and, most importantly
I don't use "product".

As a side note, is anyone else creeped out by the fact that hairdressers say "product" instead of naming the goop?

Well, I'm off to go indulge in some girly style primping. Since this is a once every few years thing (being girly..for some reason, I never have time, money, or know-how), I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest.

I just pray that it's not too too short tomorrow.

Field Trip Fun

2005-03-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks.

No I haven’t fallen off the end of the earth, it just seems that way.

I’m not entirely sure why, either. Possibly because I feel guilty bringing my boring life into print, so I try to wait for exciting bits. Recently, however, reading some other blogs on the RAOK ring, I’ve come to realize that the blogs I love most are the ones where everyday normal life IS the exciting bit. SO, I am endeavouring, for the next month, to blog on a daily basis. I make no promises as to quality, not even knitting content, but blog I shall.

So….what’s happened since last we spoke? OH! I rounded up all of my Grade 9 Drama students and took them to see Holy Body Tattoo at the National Arts Centre. We saw a show called “monumental”. Here is some needed background, for those of you just tuning in. The school at which I teach houses the poorest students in the city. More than half are first generation Canadians or brand new immigrants, generally from Africa and the Middle East. I absolutely adore the school, the staff, and generally everything about the place. We always seem to turn weaknesses into strengths, and this show was no exception.

For most of the students, this was their first time ever seeing live performance. For all but 3, it was their first time to the NAC (a very impressive edifice). For every single one, it was their first time seeing modern dance. Thus some…preparation…seemed necessary. First, I had to explain how very very impressive it was that we had this opportunity. I did this by introducing the idea of a field trip, and then asking my class if, in their estimation, they could behave up to the very high standards require…with some help, of course. They discussed the matter and decided two things. First, that getting out of school for a morning was DEFINITELY worth ten dollars, and that the few who couldn’t afford it might be able to borrow money and pay back slowly. (NB. The school actually covers a few of these kids regularly, but we never mention that in class. The funding is for the “very poor”, so most of our kids, who are merely “poor” don’t qualify.)

Second, that they would indeed like to learn theatre manners, and that the few who didn’t really want to learn would acquiesce if only to get out of school. Fair enough.

So we looked at dance. We looked at communicating without words. We figured out ways that we could communicate using multimedia to add to dance (a projector and a CD player). Then we practiced our “boredom busters”. For those of you not teachers, if you place 20+ young teens into a theatre, out of school, they will talk. Then they will pass notes. Furthermore, they will attempt to do so in a manner that is so pathetically sneaky that it is completely impossible to ignore. I explained this to my class. They disagreed. I pointed out much evidence to support my theory. They finally admitted that I was correct. Then I introduced the boredom busters.

A boredom buster is a mental game that can be played without moving or changing one’s expression. They each came up with several of these, and we practiced them.

The day came. We took the city bus to the theatre. Halfway there, I thought I was going to have a difficulty. One of my less well-behaved boys stood up, followed by his buddy, and both moved towards the front door. As the bus came to a stop, I judged whether I could run along the bus corridor and grab the boys before they took off. I took one step, and then a second, and then stopped sheepishly as my two boys helped a mother carry a stroller onto the bus and stood so that she’d have seating.

Into the theatre we trotted, with nary a second to lose, as the city bus had been late. The NAC had been very kind to us, and given us discounted tickets…but in the highest balcony. On my way up the stairs, I heard the first of my students turn the final corner, look at the theatre and gasp “Miss got us into the penthouse! WOW! Look!” I love these kids.

During the performance, my students were silent. Not “I’m in terror” silent. These kids were entranced. We’d already discussed the fact that dance communicates to your emotions, so figuring it out involves paying attention to how you feel, not what you think.
At no point did any student so much as wriggle, not once during over an hour of very high level modern dance did I have to quell a whisper, or glare. Whoops, I lied. At one point, a student leaned over to me and asked, of the Grade 12 audience below “Don’t they know that when they talk like that, they’re interfering with the communication?”

The bus ride home required us to walk through a shopping mall, at 11:30 am, past the food court, to catch a bus that the kids are familiar with. I didn’t lose one kid. I was so impressed, that I gave them a little leeway. Since we had our class right after lunch, and the bus ride was cutting into their lunch period, I’d give them a ten minute window after the bell, so that they had time to get food and eat. Furthermore, they could, one time only, eat in class as we discussed the show.

When the ball rang, every single kid was at the classroom door, waiting. Moreover, the class discussion was not only interesting, it was insightful. At one point during the show, three pairs are dancing together. One member in each pair falls to the ground, and what follows looks disturbingly like a sexual assault. The first pair has a male crouching over a female who is trying to escape. The second pair is two women in the same position. The last pair has the female on top. One young man’s comment: “When I saw the guy on top of the girl, I wanted to protect her. When I saw the two girls, I wanted to watch, and when I saw the girl on top, I wanted to laugh. Miss, do you think that the dancers were trying to point out how we treat bad things differently depending on who’s involved?”

Altogether a rewarding event.

Tune in tomorrow, when I continue to catch you up on the joy of being me.

PS. That baby blanket? Still not finished. 28 rows left.

What a fantastic weekend!

2005-02-20T18:37:00.000-05:00

Friday, DW and I went out to dinner at the Royal Oak. I was good, ordering soup and a turkey sandwich with no mayo. That’s not too hard, since I prefer drier sandwiches. the soup was fantastic. I may go back just for the soup, and skip the sandwich next time. Having been good, I then ordered zucchini sticks, which were absolutely what I wanted, and I rationalized were better than French fries for me.

(Don’t tell my body they’re still grease, I’m trying to trick it. My body and I have an ongoing war. What it doesn’t know is that this time, I’m not only going to win, I’m going to win and force its terms of surrender to be the harshest in history. It will lose most of the identity it has created over the years, and assume the persona in the world that most benefits me. In other words, I’m sick of being fat. Yes, I know, I ate deep fried foods. But skinny people do too. I figure skinny people just tell their bodies “This is a salad.” and their obedient bodies process it as such. Hey, it makes as much sense as the Cabbage Soup Diet, doesn’t it?)

While we were at the Oak, DW ordered a Strongbow cider. Now, DW’s background is such that one pint is all it takes to get her giggly and overly relaxed. Not drunk, not obnoxious, but definitely buzzed. She decided it would be fun to go yarn shopping buzzed. She wanted to “pet and fondle all the little yarn beasties, and adopt a few to take home with us”. Please note, DW has often, in the past, been mistaken for being Amish, Mennonite, or a nun. She doesn’t smile much in public. This makes it three times as funny when she gets giggly.

So off we went to Yarn Forward, and I picked up enough Sirdar Snuggly to start on the Christening Shawl from Folk Shawls. That is to be DW’s shawl. Yes, I know, she just finished the Lotus Shawl for herself, but this is a shawl from me, hand knit to keep her warm and cosy. Unfortunately, we got there 10 minutes before closing, so it was a lightning fast yarn-shop. Nonetheless, my darling managed to fondle yarn beasties. She blames the fact that she bought nothing on the alcohol.

Then home to spend a cosy few hours snuggled into the new LaZBoy chair, knitting away at the Big Bad Baby Blanket.

Saturday saw me actually finishing the dishes in the kitchen. Does anyone else notice that dishes, especially eating-off-of dishes like plates and cups, migrate around the house away from warm soapy water in a pattern akin to geese flying away from cold snowy weather? I’ve gotten to the point where, in my head, I consider them two entirely separate sets of dishes. “Today I’ll wash the kitchen dishes, and tomorrow I’ll wash the house dishes.” So I finished the kitchen dishes, and helped the house dishes to migrate in the direction of soapy water.

Saturday night, I remembered a scratch ticket I’d bought at my last gas fill up. Scratch tickets are about my only purchasing weakness besides fibre and books. Some year, when there isn’t anything I particularly want, I’m going to put only “scratch tickets” on my birthday or Christmas list, and I shall shepherd them the way children do Hallowe’en candy – one a day for however long.

SCRATCH…SCRATCH…nope…SCRATCH..nope...SCRATCH sigh……..waitasecond…that’s a $50 dollar sign next to the two other $50 signs! WOOHOO!

Needless to say, today, before going grocery shopping, we went BACK to Yarn Forward. This time DW was not under the influence of alcohol. Between our 15% discount (frequent buyer points are NICE), and the 50 dollar scratch ticket, DW’s purchase of 6 balls of Invicta and my stitch markers (I keep breaking them) and needle sizer (I think those things are the ones who herd the dishes, and then they disappear faster than a two year old’s good humour in a doctor’s office) came to a grand total of….TWENTY ONE dollars. Canadian.

The dishes are more than half done, the house is looking better than it has in weeks, the laundry (thanks to DW) is up to date, the yarn was practically free this weekend, and I’ve lost a total of 12 lbs.

Life is good.

Please come back!

2005-02-13T21:18:00.000-05:00

I just checked bloglines. My anonymous poster said that according to her/his bloglines, I had 45 subscribers, and I wanted to see if I'd missed an update. According to Bloglines, as far as I can see, I have 5 people openly subscribed to me, and 5 hidden. That's 10 people, dear readers. I'm not entirely sure what I did to scare off the rest.

Thank you to those still reading me, it gives me little frissons of joy that someone cares. I shall endeavour to be more interesting in the future.

*wanders off to ponder imponderables, and knit baby blankets*

2005-02-13T21:06:00.000-05:00

Tora-cat, just clowning around.

2005-02-13T21:05:00.002-05:00

Is that a Yarn Forward bag?

2005-02-13T21:05:00.001-05:00

This is closer to the real colour.

2005-02-13T21:05:00.000-05:00

Finshed the fuzzy orange Rose Petal Scarf.

2005-02-11T18:55:00.000-05:00

Shot two. Lace pattern is clearer here, and the bleaching effect of the flash lets you see the variegation. For those interested, this is Fleece Artist merino silk.

2005-02-11T18:54:00.001-05:00

Shot one of DW's finished Lotus Blossom shawl. Fast, isn't she?

2005-02-11T18:54:00.000-05:00

MY new book. This should be fun!

2005-02-11T18:53:00.000-05:00

DW's new book. She's very very happy. I'm a little jealous and feeling a smidgen outclassed. On the other hand, I get nifty shawls out of it, and she's promised to teach as she learns.

2005-02-11T18:52:00.000-05:00

The beginning of fuzzy feet. *looks around furtively* Noo...it's not a new project. Really.

A short story for you

2005-02-09T11:24:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the time off, dear readers. I sent a RAOK out, and then couldn't think of anything else to write until it arrived. I didn't want to blog about it, since I know the recipient is one of my 15 (!) subscribers.

Knitting News:

Remember all those UFO's? The ones I said I'd finish? Well, I'm still trucking away. 75% done the Baby blanket (for a darling lil guy who arrived well before his predicted Feb.14th delivery date). Finished Tammy's fuzzy blue scarf. But...

See...

Those fuzzy feet in Knitty were calling me. Unfortunately, my stash is almost all currently on needles. Yes, dear readers, when I finish my WIPs, I shall be stashless. *shiver* Furthermore, I didn't have big enough DPNs. Now, with those two things in mind, I was barely able to resist the siren call of warm feet, until my dear wife said "Hon, would you mind going to Yarn Forward tonight?"

My wife has finished her Lotus Blossom Shawl. She's decided she's obsessed with lace knitting, and wanted a book. Since it was pay day, we had a lil bit of money to spare, so off we trotted.

Her book was fairly pricey, so I got to match it in stuff too. I got three skeins of dark purple Alfoss Lopi, 7 mm dpns, and this book. I cast on fuzzy feet, and am proud to announce that I have just turned my very first heel!

So now I have yet another WIP (can yuou say Startitis, dear readers?). Pictures of all of the above to follow.

Other News

Anybody know of some good tea? I'm drinking lots of tea these days, and we're almost out. I love all sorts of teas, from flavoured to herbal (except decaf, it scares me), and I'd love to hear your suggestions of what I should try next. I've been drinking more tea recently because we're buying less food! DW and I have each dropped almost 10 lbs. Next step is the gym. We were looking forward to spending more on yarn but the money we're saving on food is being funneled directly into debt. The bank realized a week ago that, instead of charging us interest and capital in my big huge student loan, they'd only been charging interest. We've been dropping extra cash into that loan to reduce the capital on a regular basis, but now our monthly payments will become triple what they were before. We now officially spend more on student loan payments than on rent. *sigh* So much for a house in the next year or two, eh?

What's that? I promised you a short story in the title and I haven't delivered? So sorry dear reader. Please find following a short story that I whipped up for one for my English classes when I couldn't find a good sight passage. Remember, it's aimed at teens, don't have TOO high a set of expectations.

SHORT STORY (title suggestions appreciated)

Andrew’s mother was pleased to find him home today; he was sitting on the couch watching television and not out with those friends of his. She paused in the doorway to the living room for a moment, looking at her son.

Andrew’s soft blond hair had been cut into a Mohawk, but he wore it down, swept over one eye. It made him look a little younger, she thought, but she preferred it to the time, months ago, when she had come home to a son who looked like Mr. Clean. Her son should have more hair than his grandfather, she had thought ruefully at the time, but she hadn’t said a word. All in all, Andrew was a good boy, and if he really wanted to follow these fashion trends, she’d let him. They were harmless. Besides, he needed something to make up for those clothes.

He was wearing his signature black. Everything he wore these days was black, his jeans, T shirts, socks, boots, even his underwear. She couldn’t remember the last time she’s used bleach on anything he wore. He liked his jeans tight; he tucked the hems into the Doc Martens that he had saved up to buy. Those army boots actually looked slick, especially with his puffy bomber jacket giving illusory shoulders to his thin frame. No football player, her son.

She wasn’t quite as comfortable with the earrings in his ear, or the ring through his eyebrow. Still, he had assured her that if ever he decided that this “look” wasn’t him, he’d just take the rings out and let the holes close. It was just that he had always had the habit of raising one eyebrow skeptically, and now there was a glint of silver that rose and fell like punctuation to his sarcasm.

They didn’t fight much, she and her son. Not anymore. No more than any other family that she knew of. They’d dealt with the fact that Gary (she refused to call him a father, a father would send money, if not love), had left them. That had left the family somehow closer, as if to say “See, we don’t need you, we have enough love.”

The day Andrew had come out to her had actually been a relief. She’d had suspicions that her son was gay, and the confirmation meant she could deal with it as a fact instead of hating herself for being paranoid. She wasn’t homophobic, nor were his ten and twelve-year-old sisters, so family harmony had been restored. Now that no one was hiding anything, the awkwardness between the family was gone. It also meant that she had someone to talk to when the next in her endless string of romances went sour.

Andrew was bright and sympathetic, and always helped around the house. Even now, at what was supposed to be the most awkward stage of his development, he caused her less trouble than either of his sisters. His marks were high and he helped his youngest sister, Ann, with her homework every night.

The savoury aroma of simmering chili that Andrew had started for supper filled their small kitchen and crept out into the hall. She continued into the kitchen, calling out a greeting to her son as she passed. His laughter at something on the TV drowned her words, but she’d thank him for making supper later. Right now, all she truly wanted was a hot shower. Working as a nurse was difficult, and shift work was even worse, but it was nice to come home to a well-run house, an almost-adult son who was so responsible and, she thought as she peeked into her daughters’ room, two adorable girls who actually obeyed their brother. Andrew’s laughter echoed up the stairs as she eased into the shower and washed out the tensions of the day. She smiled; she’d have to ask him which program was so funny when she went down for some of his chili.
Downstairs, her son chuckled at the television, forcing laughter to cover his concerns. He’d always wondered how she stayed so laid back, between her hellish job and worse boyfriends. Now he knew. It was the envelope marked “Peace” in the bottom kitchen drawer. Your choice of acid, hash, pot, even something that looked like coke. The envelope lay beside him. Andrew wasn’t looking forward to the talk that they would have to have about her drugs and whether or not she could keep them in the house. He just hoped she wouldn’t try to blame it on an ex or say she was holding them for a friend. He and his sisters would simply have to put down their collective foot and tell her she had to change if she wanted to continue living with them.

Two FO's and a Whole New Semester

2005-02-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

Oh, dear readers, such exciting times!

I finished Tammy's fuzzy blue scarf (baby blue ChaCha and Patons's baby yarn). Of course, I didn't manage to photograph it before the gift giving.

I also finished a blue variagated version of Autumnsnowdust's Rose Petal Scarf. I took it to school, hoping to take a picture of it. Unfortunately, the yearbook kids, bless them, had both cameras signed out. No problem, thought I. As it turned out, it was a problem. Another teacher BOUGHT IT from me within 30 minutes of seeing it. A second teacher then offered to buy yarn for me if I would knit two more for her children.

TWO FO in two days. Oh frabjous day!

In other news, I've lost 5.5 lbs. With this new semester (2 classes instead of 4), I'm hoping to be a funnier, more erudite, skinnier blogger. I didn't manage to exercise today, but I will soon. Our school is trying to match Terry Fox. He ran for the same numbr of days as this semester contains, so all of the teachers in the school are trying to collectively match his mileage.

Finally, I got my new classes today. So far, so good. The Grade 9's in my drama class bought in, playing the games, no protests, no sitting out. The Grade 11 World Religions course is full of neat, interested, interestING people who are really looking forward to learning. Well, except one. He wandered in ten minutes late, sauntered to his seat, asked if the personal info sheet had to "be handed in", interrupted a few times to ask if there would be writing in this class (?!?!), and complained about the fact that he now has homework (2 paragraphs, barely anything).

*holds her fingers to her temples and closes her eyes* I have a vision. I see...I see...I see someone who will voluntarily drop the course in the next month. *grin*

One last small school problem that's also a knitting problem. I no longer have the pattern for the Flower Basket Shawl. A student borrowed my copy of the magazine containing the pattern to work on a different pattern over the exam break. She left the magazine on the bus. I don't really want to buy a backorder copy of the magazine, but ....*shrug*

Happy Anniversary

2005-01-27T20:44:00.000-05:00

Five years ago today, the most beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, perfect woman in the world said that she would be my girlfriend. Through university, through adversity, through family spats and governmental scares, she's walked by my side. When we met, marriage was impossible, so we've counted our partnership from that date. Last June we married, but in my heart, this is also our anniversary, and possibly more real then the one where the government admitted what we both knew already.

Happy anniversary, my lady love. May the next fifty years be as joyous as the past five.

Finished the Course!

2005-01-23T18:39:00.000-05:00

Hooray!
Today I officially submitted the last assignments for my Honours Specialist in English course. For those of you who are not high school teachers in Ontario, this means I just finished four months of spending WAY too much time reading articles written by people who have never been in a classroom. After that, I had to comment and analyze and critique said articles, and applying them to my teaching practice. Then I had to reflect on their success or failure.

Oh, my poor little guinea pigs of students.

This also means that I get a BIG pay raise. Well, after all the paperwork. Did I mention paperwork?

--------------------------------BEGIN PAPERWORK RANT HERE -----------------------

As far as I can tell, my prof tells the university that I passed. (I'm pretty sure I did. I got honours standing on the first 5 of 6 major projects.)

The university sends that information to the Ontario College of Teachers. I have opinions about them, but I'm legally bound from stating them. Yeah, those sort of opinions.

The OCT waits for me to send them a request, then they send me an updated teaching certificate that includes this course.

Meanwhile, I request a transcript from the university. Yes, for some reason, I do need it.

Once I get the transcript and the OCT certificate, I send both off to my union. THEY send me a rating statement.

I send the rating statement to my school board, who then increase my pay.

Now, please note, all of the above institutions communicate regularly with other other via email. Each will allow you to perform SOME tasks on their websites. The course itself was conducted entirely online. But the paperwork, for some unknown reason, must be sent through Canada Post in every direction.

I might believe that this was because each organization is worried about security, but for one final factor. All of them are sending out E-tax-forms this year instead of mailing them.

--------------------------------------END PAPERWORK RANT HERE-------------------------

But, hey....I'm done.

In knitting news, I've almost finished the fuzzy blue mohair baby hat. No pictures. What? That wasn't on my list of WIP? Umm....Shhhhhhh.

I've also finally passed the midway point on the SnB baby blanket. I figured out the trick to the seed stitch. Stitchmarkers of different colours! Putting a green one (green for go ahead and knit) on the rows that start with a knit stitch and a white one (pearls/purls are white) on the rows with a purl stitch (right and wrong facing rows) works beautifully. I'm just whizzing along now. Considering that this project was started a year ago while I was teaching myself to knit, my tension is remarkably consistent. Furthermore, I notice that I knit much much much faster than I did last year.

Currently, both DW and I have a fever/cough thingie that's going around. I can sit up and type for short periods, but sitting to mark is difficult. My marking pile looms above me, and chases me in nightmares. Looking on the bright side, exams are this week, so there is nothing more that students can submit to make it grow any big other than the exams themselves.

So, I must finish the English marking by Tuesday morning, the CanFam marking by Thursday morning, and the exams by Saturday night. I can do it. The house isn't going to be pretty, and we're likely to have what my mother used to call "icebox soup" for dinner, but I can do it!

SUPER ME!!

2005-01-18T21:37:00.000-05:00

Sock against backdrop of blanket. I love that seed stitch border. It doesn't love me, but hey, it'll learn.

2005-01-18T21:36:00.000-05:00

Circular needles firmly ensonced in that bag thing, I learned how to work with four needles. Witness the first inch of my first sock. Notice I've never dealt with heels. Hear me shiver in dreadful anticipation.

2005-01-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

Almost half done the baby blanket from SnB. Using green Demin aran weight yarn.

2005-01-18T21:34:00.000-05:00

My first attempt on circular needles. What WOULD have been a self striping sock ended up being the beginning of a little pouch/carry bag.

2005-01-18T21:33:00.000-05:00

My first try at thrumming, using a earwarmer pattern from the Mississippi Black Sheep Gallery's owner in Carleton Place. She amzes me. The fleece is dyed with rhubard, and the green is Briggs and Little.

2005-01-18T21:31:00.001-05:00

Another shawl-for-me pic

2005-01-18T21:31:00.000-05:00

DW is knitting this Irish Diamond Shawl (from Folk Shawls) for me in luscious red Mohair from Estelle

2005-01-18T21:29:00.000-05:00

DW's Lotus Blossom Shawl in Fleece Artist

Knitting PICS!

2005-01-18T21:28:00.000-05:00

Hello fearless reader.

Today, I commit myself to finishing things.

I commit myself to finishing ALL of the projects shown below BEFORE Canada Day.

Given that it's -40 degrees (same C as F at that temp, neat, eh?), July 1st seems to be an awfully long way away. Also, please note, the two shawls are being knitted by my dear wife, who is also weaving in the bedroom. That's not too much, is it? Please?

(Orris quietly hides Tammy's fluffy scarf, Patricia's sweater, and the school-projects from you all. Nothing to look at outside of the house. Out of house and in the car projects don't count. Nope nope nope.)

I also commit myself to finishing the mountain of marking in my bedroom (due next Tuesday), the piles of my own coursework in the desk drawer (due Friday), and the prep for next semester's courses (starting Feb.2).

Finally, I commit myself to making me a healthier person. Starting February 1st, I have a member at a gym, and a prescription for Xenical from my doctor. She's known me over 15 years, and suggested this. I've agreed. If I want to have kids soon, I have got to drop some weight.

So, to make myself accountable, I have posted these photos of my projects, admitted my dates, and now I'll do the unthinkable. I'll publically, for the first time since Grade 5, state my weight.

*drumroll and hushed awe please*

I weigh 254 lbs.

This time next year, I want to weigh 200. Yes, that's still obese, but it's sensible, achievable, and realistic.

Soooo...I'm going to knit instead of eating, and exercise instead of stressing, and be happy because I have a wonderful job, a fantastically brilliant and supportive wife, a very wonderful family, and friends online and off who are just great.

Now, I'm off to knit.

Orris

Bleedin' Money and Lovin' It

2005-01-16T18:06:00.000-05:00

Well, in every dark cloud is a silver lining, they say.

During my poor Mya-cat's last few days with us, she soiled our couch. Really really soiled. ICKY.

Of course, no cat can ever let another cat have the last word, so our surviving cat, Tora, marked over the soiling. Repeatedly. With malice aforethought. And probably malice anafterthought. And definite little kitty pride, since she woke me this morning by throwing herself at our bedroom door, mewing like her heart was going to break.

I, thinking that the world was coming to an end, opened the door, expecting to find a half-dismembered cat. Instead, tail high and proud, Tora ran to the couch. Then to me, then to the couch. "Look look, master, that bugger Timmy fell down the well again. Come see." (I always figured cats would've made awful Lassies.)

Following Tora's clue, I strolled over to our couch. The Nature's Miracle (a cat pee cleaner that works surprisingly well) had been doing OK...until about 20 minutes before Tora started mewing.

Now, a huge sopping puddle stained my poor couch. Upon closer observation (why did I keep looking? I don't know. Morbid curiousity I suppose), I realized that the ring of stain overlapped three, count 'em, three other similar circles. Little Tora-cat had outdone herself. She drank two bowls of water dry to make that Venn diagram of cat pee evilness.

Sooo....today my DW and I went (carefully, because her toe, while feeling considerably better, still isn't happy), to the LaZboy gallery. We found the chair we loved. Then we found it on sale. Then we got a slight discount because there was only one colour worth of it left (we didn't tell them that was our colour of choice....they didn't ask though). So we asked to buy 2.

I paced, DW sat, as the nice lady rang through our financing application. We both fretted, since student loans do horrible things to you, even when you ARE paying them off double-fast. The lady came back and said "I'm sorry, we can only approve you for $5000." Five thousand. Someone out there thinks they should lend us five thousand dollars! YIKES.

I quietly pointed out that the purchase, with delivery, was only $1420. "Oh, " said the nice lady, "so it is. Well that's fine then."

Wednesday, we get two LaZboy chairs. Yay us. (Shhhh....don't mention the cat....if she hears you thinking THAT, she might try it. Then we'd have no cat. I'm only half joking at this point.)

In knitting news, I managed to pick up 2 skeins of Fleece Artist for my good patient (my DW). I also got a shawl pattern, which she's happily casting on as I type. For myself, I picked up a vest I've been hoping to try, and 2 balls of Katia Venecia , in the blue colourway.

I'm going to try the dropped stitch scarf from SnB Nation. I've already cast on and done one pattern repeat, but I'm using 5.5 mm needles instead of 8.

I've also figured out bloglines, and have added the first half of the RAOK list to my blogline, making it east to keep up with you all.
Pictures to come. Off to knit now

2005-01-13T18:29:00.000-05:00

Green-eyed fluffy Mya-cat

Owie

2005-01-13T18:24:00.000-05:00

The good news: I got another 6 inches knitted on Tammy's scarf today.

The bad news: My dear wife is highly resistant to pain meds, and thus just had her foot operated on without them. She's now on the couch, foot raised, wishing that something stronger than Tylenol was effective.

And a lil more: Our cat, Mya, was put down on Tuesday. She had chronic bladder problems, and, while the vet says there is an operation that might have helped, that operation was expensive. It was also likely only temporary. Rest in peace, my grey fluffy dear. I'll miss you so much, but I'm glad you're not in pain anymore.

KWB

2005-01-10T17:47:00.000-05:00

Click here to find out more about Knitters without Borders.

When I add the button to my sidebar, it messes up my formatting, so it'll have to stay in this post for a while.

Owie!

2005-01-10T17:32:00.000-05:00

So my dearest darling wife, whom I love so very very much seems to have the pain threshold of an opera teacher.

Thursday, she's going in to have a toenail removed. When asked directly about the level of pain in her toe, she will reply "it's a little sore." A little sore indeed! Last night, the pressure of said "sore" toe was enough that it randomly split open to bleed a LOT.

DW's response? "Oh well, it's not as bad as it's been once or twice." ARGH!

In knitting news, the kids (my high school students) are out-knitting me by better than 100-1. Dropped off today alone were 7 scarves, 8 headbands and a pair of mittens.

The lovely lady who volunteers in the school with the knitting club lived in norway a while. That's right, I have my own personal Norweigian knitting goddess! Plans to pick her brain are forming rapidly.

Unfortunately, that's all I have time for today, since I have to take the cat to the vet, set 2 exams, and mark til my eyes bleed.

See you (OK, you'll see me, I'll be touch typing) tomorrow!

Knitters Without Borders

2005-01-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

Well folks, the Yarn Harlot has done it again.

Rather than just being a true inspiration and leaving it at that, she has effectively started her own charity, Knitters without Borders.

I urge all of you to go and donate to this wonderful cause.

In other news, now that the holidays are over I should have time to update this blog (and my school blog) regularly.

I'm still figuring out how to do the spiffy sidebar thingies with percentages of completed projects, but here's my update:

1) Kerry's red pocketed scarf, in chenille yarn: COMPLETE! She's off to NZ wearing it today.
2) Red and grey felted bag: COMPLETE - exchange in the LJ KWB exchange
3) Tammy's blue fuzzy scarf: 35%
4) Pink and white Pixie scarf: 40%
5) 100% wool grey socks: 3%
6) green thrummed heaband: 45%
7) Patricia's grey tweed sweater: 0%
8) bunny rabbit blanket: 5%

Pictures will be forthcoming when I manage to bring the digital camera home from school.

Speaking of the school, we've hit 100 scarves, 15 hats, 4 pairs of mitts, 7 vest/sweater/jackets, and more for the Ottawa Snowsuit Fund! My kids are FAN-tastic!

2004-11-13T19:59:00.000-05:00

This is me!

The First Post

2004-11-13T19:28:00.000-05:00

Well, having given up my livejournal to the ever-growing blob that is my high school knitting circle, I've decided to try keeping a personal blog for a change.

With any luck, this will be a place to vent, to laugh, to write, and, of course, to track my lovely lovely knitting projects.

I will admit it, I'm not a very good knitter. In fact, I can barely knit. But you know what they say: Those who can't, teach. Usually I want to thump whoever says that, but in this case its true. I took my semi-OK knitting skills, and offered to pass them on to any of my students who wanted to knit.

How do you start a high school knitting club? Well, this was my response to my professor. (I'm taking a univeristy course to make myself a better teacher. Did I mention I took up knitting to relax?)

Steps to running a knitting club:
1. Realize that underprivileged students make up most of your student body.
2. Realize that your student body is depressed by the fact that, when they raise enough money to buy the snowsuit fund 18 whole snowsuits, they are immediately overshadowed by the 300-400 snowsuits purchased by the elite school in the next cachement area.
3. Visit local yarn stores. They usually have a bin of charity yarn, extra balls returned by people who overbought, that is to be used to knit mitts, hats, etc for charity. Ask for their support.
4. Present your idea to your student body. Offer to lend them needles, give them yarn, and sign off on volunteer hours if they knit to support the snowsuit fund.
5. Clarify that volunteer hours are set by the completed piece, and only available on those items given for donation. Mention that pieces must have at least three or four rows knitted in front of you, so parents/neighbours do not simply hand the student a knitted article. Repeat, a lot, that just buying clothes doesn't count. Repeat also that knitting for oneself, one's family, or anything other than the charity mentioned must be done on one's OWN yarn (available at local yarn shops, above).
6. Wait for 5 or 6 kids to sign up.
7. Realize that it's Ramadan, most of your students are Muslim, and derive spiritual brownie points for charity work started this month. Then realize that this traditional craft is also supported for female students who are generally not encouraged by family to be out after school. Realize also that kids are generally fundamentally nice giving people, and that poverty, while hindering the ability to give, does not hinder the desire.
8. Almost pass out when 56 to 60 students show up the first day. Search frantically for more donations of needles and yarn, posting pleas on interschool e-classifieds.
9. Almost pass out a second time when teachers, ex-teachers, friends of ex-teachers, relatives of friends of teachers, etc. drop off approximately $7500 worth of yarn...and NO needles.
10. Repost plea for needles, with addendum of no more yarn please. Realize that this second email is NOT forwarded to the same people as the first was.
11. Watch needles pour in, as attendance likewise increases to 100+ students, and knitting becomes cool.
12. Marvel as the ladies in the main office, teachers from the developmentally delayed classes, EA's, math teachers, and others all turn out ot be knitters too, and leap in to lend a hand.
13. Fret as yarn donations continue to pour in. Fill all the cupboards of a science lab. Fill all the empty shelves in the book room. Pack the trophy case. Watch as students hurry to finish their first project in order to get "dibs" on the "cool" yarn displayed in the library.
14. Realize that almost all of the kids are knitting for fun after all, and not for volunteer hours.
15. Having grabbed tiger by the tail, hang on TIGHTLY.

Yes, I plan to get media attention for this. *grin* I mean "Underprivileged ESL immigrant teenagers learn heritage craft to donate warm clothes to the the snowsuit fund (in Ottawa's winter), and blankets to the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario" plays rather well, doesn't it? Especially the lovely picture of my blind student helping her 8 month preganant married cousin to fix a dropped stitch. I'm just waiting for completed projects sufficient to make a good photo op.

SO ...that's how.

And we got the media attention too. Loads of it. Canada Now ran the story in the Ottawa area. CBC Newsworld picked it up from them and ran it across Canada. Lots of attention.

So here, here I think I'll try to stay quiet. Shhhh. Quiet. Good, that's good.

This blog is just for me. Me and my knitting. And occasionally my family. Well, me, my knitting, my family, and my paranoid pseudonym, since I can't actually post under my real name. Students are amazingly web-savvy these days, eh? Me, my pseudonym, my family, my knitting and you. (and maybe the Spanish Inquisition? NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquistion)

Did you think I'd forget you? You're half the reason I write, you know. Of course, you only exist out there in my imagination until I hear from you.

Welcome in.

Orris